As far as the spiritual structure concerned, I’ve figured the following:

– Adopting any existing structure is not for me. The more religious, dogmatic, devotional it is – the more repelling;

– Taking any given philosophy/teaching on the whole is not for me;

– My way is – pick & mix.

The philosophy I am forming  in principal is very simple. My teaching says: be non-judgemental, be happy, be limitless, be flexible, live for the joy of it.

On replay, many things about life I suspected to be odd, turn out to be  coming from the wrong premise, but only now I am finding some verbal confirmations to my feelings from sources other than my gut, which allows me to feel confident about myself. Finally! I am not saying I am cleverer, sainter or better than the others. At the times when I had a deep hidden suspicion of something fishy going on, I mostly still acted as everyone – according to the rules of the moment, eg wrongly.

Amongst the few rare precious moments of near-unity with “The Spirit”, the one I really thirst to re-experience, was an occasion, when the existence in a body felt so highly illogical. That probably illustrates  how I in particular am more of a logical thinker, than a “sencer”, even in the realm of things spiritual. Lately I was trying to sensitise myself more to the finer vibrations (seems to be the word of the week!), but a chat with Ann reminded me, that I should be occasionally still using my brain!

Yes. The structure. I am getting back into a routine, after successfully for a year kicking myself out of it. The routine will loosely drape itself around  work, girls, yoga and meditation. I looked into tai chi, but it seems to be a touch too complicated for the time being. Surprisingly for myself, my body accepted the yoga with little resistance, so be it.