Who am I?

March 16, 2011

When we strip you down to the most basic elements of what you’re all about, what do we have?

I never really strayed too far from my basic elements, so it should be easy for me to go back.

I am just me – a child playing in the dust. Which is mud, which is clay. Quiet and self-contained. Going out on adventures every now and then. Free. Unpretentious.

I just realised something.

I was thinking: What were my needs? Very little. None almost.  What are my wants? None (although I can get some if necessary). So, is that why I am free? Why I feel so free?

And then I remembered the sensation of not understanding what the life is all about and why there is this atmosphere of anxiety. Especially in the Western world. I know now why. People in what we call the West more than people in other places convinced themselves, that they have needs – lots of them.

And then I remembered what I read yesterday on Steven Fry’s website: “Eat shit, a hundred billion flies can’t be wrong”

Which is not to say, that it is bad to have wants! On the contrary, it is great! It’s fun! Wants are the engine of the progress. But wants are not needs. One can drop them any time. You need nothing. So, be free 🙂

Interviewing myself

March 16, 2011

“Developing your brand
During the development of “BrandYou” you need to ask yourself some basic questions.” More where this came from.

What are your values?
I value that thing which they call the source which is the divine thing inside a human being. You see how I am playing a clown here, dodging those stupid, naff, un-cool, abused, yucky terms like god, divine, spirit, soul etc… But I still value That Thing the most.
It’s the wounded but still alive cynic of mine is wriggling about somewhere there. Deep.

What do you love?
I love progress. In all it’s manifestations.

What do you hate?
Stagnation.

What are you insanely great at doing?
What I always felt insecure about is my sticking to the realistic representation of the people and objects in my visual art. The problem with that is, as common criticism these days goes, there is not much creativity involved in doing that. It’s just a copy of the nature. And NOW I see it for what it is. (I am thinking along as I write here). I see things realistically. That is my way of seeing things – as they are. If I were a writer, I’d write realism rather than sci-fi, if I were a painter, I’d paint realistic photographic portraits rather than abstract cubes or splodges… You see, I wrote “if I were a painter”… Funny that, because I kind of am a painter. Just now, just moments ago I made a transition from a visual artist to … what? Who am I? I finished Me The Painter now, and who am I then? I am a helper. Am I a healer? That doesn’t sound quite right. Am I a facilitator, an inspirator? Something along those lines. I am kind of a little ahead on the path and I am calling the others to follow, I trod a path, I am a path-treader. Fun!

There are millions of paths, there are millions of path-treaders. I just tread and show one of the millions of possible paths, and most likely this path will be suitable only for me, but it might help someone to see HOW I trod it. It is about applying the method of finding one’s path rather than the path itself.

Or, yeah. I remember now. There is a term for it which I came across a lot recently. A way-shower. So that’s what I am . That, I must admit, spoiled much fun for me – first, I wasn’t the first; secondly, that term comes from those creepy alien, new-agey, spirit-channelling people… Hmm.

But I strayed away from the question.

Ah! The answer came to me just now! (I have definitely tuned myself into something good!)
I am insanely good at analysing myself and applying it to a human behaviour in general, listening, comparing, analysing again, learning. And I can see now where all of that is leading me. I am a helper. A way-shower.

I am having a special moment here… Sorry. Back soon.

What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of my family. I created it! With Tim, of course, and the girls, of course, and my mum of course, and many other people involved to a various degree (It sounds like an Oscar nomination acknowledgements…), but still, it’s me at the core of it! From my point of view. I am extremely proud of being able to support a fine healthy balance in my life and therefore the life of my family.

What do you want to be?
I want to be an inspiration. I want to be of  help. But not in a charitable way. Giving as such doesn’t inspire me, not as much as helping someone to find their own way.

What is important and valuable to you?
Freedom. Independence. Interdependence.

What do you want to be known for?
I want to be know as a … words “white clown” come to my mind. Have no idea why. I guess the answer will come to me in a few years time, which is usually the case.

“Basic, fundamental questions, yes. And yet, sometimes these are the most difficult to answer. But they must be answered and must be true.” Garr Rreynolds

What are you insanely great at doing?

What I always felt insecure about is my sticking to the realistic representation of the people and objects in my visual art. The problem with that is, as common criticism these days goes, there is not much creativity involved in doing that. It’s just a copy of the nature. And NOW I see it for what it is. (I am thinking along as I write here). I see things realistically. That is my way of seeing things – as they are. If I were a writer, I’d write realism rather than sci-fi, if I were a painter, I’d paint realistic photographic portraits rather than abstract cubes or splodges… You see, I wrote “if I were a painter”… Funny that, because I kind of am a painter. Just now, just moments ago I made a transition from a visual artist to … what? Who am I? I finished Me The Painter now, and who am I then? I am a helper. Am I a healer? That doesn’t sound quite right. Am I a facilitator, an inspirator? Something along those lines. I am kind of a little ahead on the path and I am calling the others to follow, I trod a path, I am a path-treader. Fun!

There are millions of paths, there are millions of path-treaders. I just tread and show one of the millions of possible paths, and most likely this path will be suitable only for me, but it might help someone to see HOW I trod it. It is about applying the method of finding one’s path rather than the path itself.

Or, yeah. I remember now. There is a term for it which I came across a lot recently. A way-shower. So that’s what I am . That, I must admit, spoiled much fun for me – first, I wasn’t the first; secondly, that term comes from those creepy alien, new-agey, spirit-channelling people… Hmm.

But I strayed away from the question.

Ah! The answer came to me just now! (I have definitely tuned myself into something good!)
I am insanely good at analysing myself and applying it to a human behaviour in general, listening, comparing, analysing again, learning. And I can see now where all of that is leading me. I am a helper. A way-shower.

I am having a special moment here… Sorry. Back soon.

Being ridiculous is fun!

March 14, 2011

I am researching being ridiculous. Before I dive into actually being ridiculous. I know it is inevitable, but my mind needs some convincing in order to cooperate rather than sabotage. We’ll get there…

Everyone must see this latest TED talk by French artist JR. He takes it further along the road which Banksy walks. Or used to walk. This is the art concept which touched me like no other art for the last couple of years.

The topic of the present time is the gratefulness or thankfulness, which is a better consept when described as appreciation. I am not even sure if the two can be described as one stricktly speeking, but they ARE confused quite often anyway. The appreciation is probably closer to a wonder at the way the things turned out to be so good, or the wonder at the skill and goodness of the people having done something amazing, kind, devine, skillful, inspired… While in the words “gratefilnes” or “thankfulnes” there is a bit of a slave, a poor relative, something of deficiency. A bit of something we could do without.

Here is a story on BBC website to illustrate this appreciation of life’s little wonders…

A simple truth about appreciation was revealed to me recently – that it is equal to happiness. Or perhaps one can say, it is one of the sides of happiness, or one of the ways to it. So many things we have, which we do not cherish. Somehow being critical, demanding is often viewed as a virtue, a sign of sofistication and discernment. That it might be, but it also takes us even further away from happiness, kindness, child-like-ness. Away from health and down the road of Ego…

Poking about in the dark corners of my own Ego, I try to figure where this ansavoury self- and others-critic comes from, and come to a coclusion, that I view it as the ultimate quality-control device, whitout which I’ll be on a slippery-sliding slope to the gatters. Is it really so? Is it really so?.. A doubt is seeded. Perhaps I’ll soon be free. I’ll be free!