{:ru}???? ??, ??? ??????? ??, ?? ?!

??, ?? ????? ?, ??? ?????? ?????? “???????????? ???????”, ??, ?????… ???????????? ???????????, ??????????…

?????????? ??? ?? ??????, ? ?????????? ????? – ? ? ????, ??? ??????, ??? ????????…

?? ????, ?????? ??? ???????????? ???????? ???????? ?????????? ?????????? ????? ????? ?????????? ???…  ??…??? … ????… ???? ??? ???? ????… ????, ? ??? ???? ????,  ????. ? ???? ????. ?????. ? ???? ?????, ????, ????…? ???? ???????? ???? I am. who? Who am I? Who ???? ?? ??? ???? ??? ????… ??, fuck you!

????? ??????, ????? ??????…

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Answers come always

July 22, 2015

About synchronicity and how the answers come to me.

I actually have known for a very long time that answers come to me in unexpected ways – I only need to become aware of the question. It is fun to register the funny ways in which they come.

barbersMonday we were driving to the swimming pool and past a barber shop. I said, why is the sign of the barbers that red and white swerling thing? It seems more like a policeman thing to me. The girls said, no, it is barbers’ traditional thing, but why we didn’t know.

Today, Wednesday, I am listening to Kryon, which is not the one I usually listen to because I don’t like his preaching theatrical style. And I am skipping through the video like crazy, stopping if these is anything making any sense to me at all. So, I stop and listen for a minute, and he says something about ailing people 2oo years ago going to the barbers shop to be healed, where they would be bled. “By the way, this is why the barbers’ sign is a red and white pole”! Thanks for letting me know, Kryon! 🙂

 

Robert Bruce Williams

May 9, 2015

Portrait painters: Robert Bruce Williams
Source: World of Portrait Painting

Robert Bruce Williams

Robert Bruce Williams

This morning Tim and I had a dog walk together.

I relayed to him my bed-time booster conversation with Alina the night before:
“When people think about Alina, the word which springs to mind is Power. Power. Power of brain, muscle power, power of imagination, memory… You are powerful, Alina.”

I do this remedial conversations with Alina because I feel that she is a very sensitive child who, inspite of her huge and multiple powers, tends to downplay herself. Not in a small degree because she is so ahead of the game amongst her peers in many areas. It is uncomfortable to be noticeably different. She is very tall too!

Generally, Life encourages diversity within unity. Unity is the safety, diversity is the progress. But diversity has to prove its resilience in order to survive and contribute to Life. If it doesn’t have enough stubborn gut power to overcome the pressure of the mass which wants every unit to support the unity, then it becomes a thwarted cripple which was born to be different but didn’t make it.

And so, I encourage Alina to embrace her uniqueness, to be proud of it. To stand tall and to reach high never mind what the others think, say or do. It is a balancing game – observe, encourage, listen, counter the “masses” opinions…

Yesterday, to my cooing over her powers she half-jokingly said: I am spekal (mispronounced “special” echoing a character in the play we watched recently “The Play Which Goes Wrong” – brilliant!). I am spekal, – she said, – I am “gifted and talented” (the label the educational system gives to the top 10% of the pupils).

Tim and I laughed about this response of hers, and he expressed a concern that there is a danger of her attitude going too far the other way, towards arrogance. He in turn told me about a conversation between Alina and the mum of her best friend. Chloe, the mum, said that Daisy was being called a “teachers’ pet” at school. To which Alina proposed: “She should turn around and say: “Well, sorry for being that much cleverer than you lot!”

We laughed. “Great, – said I, – one mustn’t feel apologetic for one’s prowess!”

I pondered about it later. Perhaps Tim indeed thinks that getting big-headed is a real danger for Alina. I don’t. And even if she did, I’d rather have her do that than belittling herself in order to fit in with the majority.

In the situations like Daisy’s, which is SO normal, those children who call the others “teachers’ pets” are the aggressors. For their own security, they want to bully anyone who is MORE than themselves into mediocrity. So, those who ARE MORE must never succumb. Succumbing is denying oneself one’s nature. It is self-sabotage, it is moral suicide. And on the long run and bigger scale giving in doesn’t do any good to those bullies either.

If you are a star, don’t let anyone bully you into becoming an asteroid.

Portrait art by Marina Kim

Portrait of Alina or “No Climbing”

Thick Paint

May 2, 2015

And sometimes I simply want to throw paint thickly onto a surface and see how it looks. Why not?

Still Life with Onions. Oil on canvas. Marina Kim

Onions

And play with the colours.

Still Life with Dandelions in a Puter Jug

Dandelions in a Puter Jug

And with the shadows and the light.

Still life with Daffodils by artist Marina Kim

Daffodils

And not to think.

Still life with Tulips in a Jar by artist Marina Kim

Tulips in a Jar

And not to care about the objects of my attention but use them as an excuse to throw paint onto a surface.

Still life "Posy in a Tea Pot" by artist Marina Kim

Posy in a Tea Pot

And not to explain anything to anyone… At all. Like words never even existed.

Me and My Girls

April 30, 2015

This February half-term we didn’t go anywhere, and while my girls were home and the light was good, I bribed them to sit for the portraits.

After all, last time I painted them was at least a couple of years ago, and I never painted them from life, always from photos. Now that they are old enough and well-trained by various educational institutions, no reason why they couldn’t sit still each for 10 or so hours…

Well, it took some modeling fees and also, during the sittings, they were watching films. Only sometimes in the last session each was required to look at me to paint their eyes. Still, they took the whole experience as yet another chore which their wicked mother imposed on them and that shows clearly in the portraits!

Portrait of Eva Roche age 13

Eva

Portrait of Eva Roche, age 13
Oil on canvas
70×50 cm

Marina Kim. Portraiture

Alina

Portrait of Alina Roche, age 11
Oil on canvas
70×50 cm

Me and my girls!

Marina Kim portrait artist

Me and My Girls

My New Story

December 11, 2014

Drypoint original print by Marina Kim. "Artist by the Sea"

“Artist by the Sea”

My new story is simple. It is just being and nothing other. I am. I exist and can never seize to exist. Everything else is just an experience.

No good, no bad, no sins, no mistakes. I dispose of guilt too. I understand the meaninglessness of punishment. It is just a pure experience and I am floating in the breath of Consciousness, a vortex of crystallized vapor…

There is no judgement in my existence because I choose not to have it. I do not create judgement and therefore it doesn’t exist. I am back. I am back. I am back. I created this journey away from home and back to home for the experience. And I accept and allow the journeys my daughters create and everyone else. This is the game we play. It is a good game.

And so. Now. I am complete. I always have been, but I created an illusion that I was not. For the game. For the fun. For the relief.