Looking for the spiritual structure

April 22, 2009

And so, I am looking.

It is Wednesday. I feel as some resistance in me is gradually lifting up. I think I allow the destiny to take it course and allow myself to believe, that that course will be the most exciting, happy and beneficial for me and all my people. Now I can see the meaning of the events in the past. The way they each gave me a little glimpse of what I am, what my life is about.

I understand now my preferences in art and what the art is for me. And why. And understanding that gives me the acceptance of my own way. Hurah! I needn’t resist being myself any more! 🙂

So.

The art is not the goal in itself. It doesn’t have any meaning, any value of its own. The art is a tool of telling a story.

We, human beings, are constantly trying to decipher what we are in general, as human beings, and what each of us is, as a unique individual. Each life is like writing up a story. My life is writing up a story. My art is a tool of writing up a story.

I never felt that mad about art, and used to beat myself up for not being passionate enough about it. But it is fine now, no need to be passionate about something as limited as one way of art making. Because the life is much bigger than that, and to write an exciting story of a life, one mustn’t limit one-self to one form of creativity.

No use trying to squeeze myself into the trodden path, to comply, to follow the rules. I am too big for that. That’s what I didn’t realise before! I’ll shape my own path by letting myself to be…

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